omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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