Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
