I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
