fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
