Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
