I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
