Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
