Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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