i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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