I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
