my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's official drugs can't kill me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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