Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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