Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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