Will you blow on my dice?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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