Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
