I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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