You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
