Swine flu. Run for my life!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My ass is underappreciated
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
