no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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