I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
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I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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