i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
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no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
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holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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