Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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