May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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