There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my sisters under your porch take her home
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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