Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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