There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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