Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
