mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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