Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
