im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
