Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
