why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize