I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
