he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
