The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
