Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
