He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
