Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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