I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
