Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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