He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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