I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
