So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
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Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
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And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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