i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
