she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
