How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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