insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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