I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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