standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
