I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
