before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
