The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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