please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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