I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
