if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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