Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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