my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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