i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
