are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
