Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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