Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
