I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ladies don't puke and tell
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
