so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize