I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
